Behind the Music: An Exclusive Interview with Lila Graves of Lila Graves Band

Photo Credit: Trashy Betty Photography

Welcome to Hawk-IT Interviews! Today, I’m excited to bring you a conversation with vocalist Lila Graves from the band Lila Graves. Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina, Lila Graves is an all-female alternative metal band that has been making waves with their powerful sound, energetic performances, and bold musical style.

In this interview, Lila opens up about her upbringing and the experiences that first inspired her passion for music. We talk about how she discovered her voice, the journey that led to forming the band, and the challenges and rewards of building a name in the alternative metal scene. She also shares insights into the band’s creative process, their influences, and what it’s like to work together as an all-female group in the heavy music genre.

Along the way, we dive into the band’s music, their goals for the future, and what fans can expect from Lila Graves moving forward. It’s an honest and engaging conversation that offers a closer look at the person behind the microphone and the band behind the sound.

I hope you all enjoy reading this interview as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Amit Ahuja:To begin at the very start of your story, can you take us back to your earliest memories and paint a vivid picture of the place where you grew up? What was your hometown like — the streets, the energy, the people, and the culture that surrounded you? How would you describe the social and emotional atmosphere that shaped your childhood and teenage years? In what ways did family, friendships, community, or local influences contribute to the development of your early sense of identity, creativity, and the person you were becoming during those formative years?

Lila Graves: I grew up in a small town called Pendleton, which is about 10 minutes away from Clemson University in South Carolina. Growing up there many years ago, the town was much more bare than it is now. It was made of back roads and fields, with the highlights being a Bojangles & Dairy Queen. I was bullied a lot throughout school, which in hindsight, I don’t even remember why it started. Phones, Facebook & Instagram had just become trends and I wound up being cyberbullied frequently. I held a close circle of friends, and even though some came and went, they all helped me through those times in my young life. I joined chorus in my 6th grade year, and stayed throughout the rest of my academic journey - that is where I finally found my people. My chorus teachers from elementary through high school taught me how to sing properly, and I was trained as a first soprano. During this time I also learned piano, guitar, ukulele, banjo, and the harmonica. Music was an outlet for me during my school years, and it became my actual ‘job’ when I turned 16. I was gigging every weekend, sometimes multiple shows in one day, as a high school student. My mom was my absolute rock during this time - she drove me everywhere, bought my equipment, and believed in me so strongly. I continued this through college, and gigging was how I paid for school supplies, uniforms, etc. During these years between high school and college, I met so many incredible people in the Upstate SC music scene who inspired me both musically and personally, and they showed me the first glimpse into the music lifestyle.

Amit Ahuja: Looking back now with the benefit of experience and perspective, how do you feel your upbringing shaped the individuals and artists you’ve become today? Were there particular lessons, challenges, or moments from your early life that helped shape your values, worldview, emotional resilience, or the way you approach creativity and self-expression in your work today?

 Lila Graves: Looking back now, I see how much my hardships shaped the artist and person I am today. Without going into detail, I faced some hardships and obstacles as a young child that I would never wish on others. While it made me a timid and fearful child, I started to find my voice both literally and metaphorically over the years. I think that it shaped my creative process in how I use music as an outlet, and generally shaped my perspective of the world and those around me.

Amit Ahuja: Can you walk us through the beginning of your musical journey? When did music first enter your life in a meaningful way? Was there a specific moment, memory, or experience that shifted your relationship with music from simply listening and enjoying it to feeling an urge—or even a necessity—to begin creating music yourselves?

 Lila Graves: Music has always been a part of my life, ever since I can remember. Both of my parents love music, and I can’t remember a single car ride where I wasn’t listening to it. I first felt the urge to start playing when my grandparents got me a small pink Barbie keyboard. My mom bought me piano lesson books, but I would always watch YouTube to teach myself how to play. Then my late step-grandmother, whose life was built around music, showed me what a real piano player looked like and I strived to be like her. I started taking formal lessons, and my love for it just grew from there and spread to multiple other instruments.

Amit Ahuja: What initially drew you toward the metalcore genre specifically? Beyond the musical intensity and technical elements, what was it about the culture, the aesthetic, the emotional depth, or the sense of belonging within that scene that resonated with you personally and made you feel like it was the right creative space for your expression?

Lila Graves: I would definitely say that the sense of belonging is what initially drew me in. Growing up listening to much different music, I never felt a sense of community among other genres as strongly as I feel the metal & alternative community has. There was also a strong pull towards the aesthetic, and as I began to listen to more bands, I realized the raw talent and emotion that went into the creative process. But of all the concerts I’ve attended, I’ve never seen unity quite like that of a metal concert. There’s also so much personal connection that can be made when you share a love of heavy music, and it really brings people together.

When you reflect on your early years discovering music, were there particular bands, albums, or even individual songs that resonated with you on a deeply personal level—music that almost felt formative in shaping your identity and influencing the artist you were slowly becoming?

In my early years of discovering music on my own, I was immediately drawn to 90s grunge, punk rock/emo, and modern rock & metal. I evolved from listening to Nirvana, RHCP, Pearl Jam & Audioslave in my early high school years to MCR, Falling in Reverse, A7X & BFMV around 17 to 18 years old. I started realizing how much the heavier music resonated with the emotions I was working through at that age, and it allowed me to channel my angst.

Photo Credit: Paul Jones Photography

Amit Ahuja: As the band’s vocalist, did those early influences have a direct impact on how you began approaching your craft? Were there certain singers who inspired you to experiment with different tones, techniques, or vocal styles? Were there specific performances or records that pushed you to expand your range, refine your control, or explore deeper emotional expression in your delivery?

Lila Graves: Oddly enough, my vocal inspirations were from a completely different end of the musical spectrum. When I first started singing, I was constantly learning musical theater/Broadway style songs. I wanted to strengthen my vibrato and volume to mimic some of the powerful voices who could fill a room without a microphone. I also sang some opera, and was primarily a first soprano throughout school. Phantom of the Opera was one of my favorites to sing, and definitely helped me improve my control and expand my vocal range to ear piercing highs (although I don’t know that I could hit some of the notes anymore).

Amit Ahuja: Take us back to the very beginning of Lila Graves. How did the band first come together? What circumstances, shared experiences, or creative visions aligned at that moment to make it feel right to officially start this journey as a band? What was the original vision for your sound, your message, and your overall identity as artists? Looking at where you are today, how closely does that original vision align with what the band has become—and in what ways have you surprised yourselves creatively along the way? How did all of you meet and ultimately decide to form the band?

Lila Graves: I have to step back here and give my husband a ton of credit for the creation of this project. After many failed projects, I was scared to start again. I went to him and told him about the idea I had, and he pushed me to pursue it. My vision was to have an all female alt-metal band that could show the world that women can be powerhouses in this genre. As for us girls, our lineup has changed slightly since the beginning but we were all brought together in different ways. Lizz, our lead guitarist, has been a friend of mine for about 8 years now. When she heard about the project I was starting, she immediately reached out and it was an instant match for both of us. With Gracie, her mom found our ad online and reached out to me. I talked with Gracie, and we clicked when we first met, and I am so grateful for her mom’s watchful eye on the local scene. And Nikki is our most recent addition, and we had a ton of mutual connections from the upstate music scene that brought us together. Lizz and I did a practice with her, and were blown away by how quickly she learned our music. So she was hired on the spot.

Photo Credit: Itsnthestarsphotography

Amit Ahuja: In those early stages, did you experiment with different band names before settling on Lila Graves? What was that creative process like, and what ultimately made this particular name feel like the one that truly captured the spirit, identity, and aesthetic of the band?

Lila Graves: Prior to becoming Lila Graves, I managed other projects throughout the years under various genres and names. I wanted to create something brand new that had a mix of femininity & darkness. I’ve always loved the name Lila, and when I looked up some words that “exuded darkness” something just clicked when I put the two together!

Amit Ahuja: Could you take us deeper into some of your specific tracks—such as “White Rabbit,” “Claws Out,” “Ashes,” and “School of Fear”? I’d love to hear what emotions, experiences, or chapters of your lives you were unpacking while writing those songs. Were you drawing from specific moments, personal struggles, or relationships during that process? And when you listen back to those songs now, are there particular lyrics or sections that still feel especially raw, vulnerable, or transformative for you?

Lila Graves: I always love talking about my songs - they are truly like my babies because so much thought and emotion goes into bringing it all together.

“White Rabbit” was actually inspired by a TikTok trend I saw numerous times on my feed. The caption was always “the day the rabbit got me” or “the day before the rabbit got me”. Well, I was curious about this rabbit and researched the trend and figured out what it meant - it relates to the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland being a symbol of fiction & reality. Based on my lived experiences with people or things not always being what they seemed, I took that idea and ran with it.

“Claws Out” is one of my favorites - the lyrics are all about the fight or flight response you feel when you are being followed or stalked. I have a slight case of synesthesia, and I wrote it based on this scene in my mind of walking through a parking lot late at night with someone following you (with bad intentions). The verses are from the perspective of the stalker, seeing the woman as just an animal that he can capture. The chorus is the fight or flight response the woman feels when she realizes what is happening.

“Ashes” was my first release as Lila Graves, and was prior to having the incredible girls that I do now. I wrote this song about a very difficult friendship ‘breakup’ that I went through the prior year. It is meant to embody the feeling of waking up the next day and realizing that things will never be the same, and you are left with so many memories that you shared, but can never look at in the same way.

Lastly, “When Angels Lose Their Wings” is the most meaningful song (to me) out of our discography. I wrote this about one of my best friends who passed away unexpectedly in late 2024. She had been one of my bridesmaids just a few months prior, and we spent a lot of time talking at work or on the phone every single day. The song’s title is meant to play on the saying “An angel has gained their wings”, and instead represents a person’s time being cut too short. This song truly helped me cope with the loss, and the cherry on top is the beautiful solo that Lizz laid down for this track.

Amit Ahuja: When you sit down to create music, does the process feel more like a form of catharsis, self-discovery, confrontation, healing—or perhaps a mixture of all of those things? How does your emotional state during the writing process influence the stories, themes, and feelings that ultimately make their way into your music?

Lila Graves: Definitely a mixture of all of them. It’s therapeutic in a way that I am able to confront & discover my emotions, and make peace with them by putting them into something that I love. My emotional state can impact how I express myself within the song, where I add screams or yells, etc. A prime example is in our new song “Stay Away” - I never intended to make a yelling song, but I got so mad thinking about what I wrote the song about that I started yelling into the mic. I liked what I heard, and then I kept rolling with it.

Amit Ahuja: Looking ahead to the future, what exciting projects, collaborations, tours, or creative milestones are currently on the horizon for Lila Graves? What feels like the next big chapter in your journey, and what are you personally most excited to explore creatively in the coming years?

Lila Graves: We are excited to start really getting into new territories for our live shows. This year will be the first time we are playing in North Carolina and Tennessee, and we are hoping to expand into the Northeast and Midwest by the end of the year with more live shows. The next chapter in our journey is hopefully securing management or a label that can help us boost our sound and abilities. We are fully independent, self-produced and self-funded, so we are limited on what we can do. But we are hopeful that we can continue to expand our musical horizons both in the studio and on stage.

Amit Ahuja: If you were given the fantastic opportunity to open for any band or go on a world tour, which bands would you choose to join on this exciting journey?

Lila Graves: Deftones, Amira Elfeky, President, Evanescence, and Violent Vira.

Amit Ahuja: As an artist, inspiration can sometimes come in waves. What continues to keep you motivated and creatively inspired to keep writing, performing, and evolving your sound? Are there particular life experiences, emotions, or outside influences that consistently fuel your creativity, and how do you reconnect with that inspiration during moments when the creative process feels more challenging?

Lila Graves: My life experiences are 100% of the inspiration for my songs. Whether they are expressed metaphorically or literally, the lyrics will always be rooted in real life. The rhythms and chords are the canvas and create a solid foundation for what I want to express, and the lyrics are the paint. Piggy-backing off the earlier statement, I like to take my negative emotions and energy and use them as fuel to keep the fire going. When I hit a writer’s block, I will discover new artists and listen to how they express their emotion to re-ignite my own creativity.

Amit Ahuja: When fans tell you that a song helped them through something in their own lives, how does that affect the way you see your role as an artist?

Lila Graves: While I haven’t had this exact interaction yet (I would love to someday!), I think I would probably cry. And not in a funny or sarcastic way - I think it would make me truly emotional to know that I have been able to impact someone in the way that so many other artists have impacted me. It’s hard to fathom as someone who has been a fan of musicians, that I could actually be that person for someone.

Amit Ahuja: Rejection, setbacks, and moments of self-doubt are part of nearly every creative journey. What advice would you offer to younger musicians who are currently facing those challenges? How can artists learn to transform disappointment or obstacles into motivation, growth, and long-term resilience?

Lila Graves: My advice to young musicians who face rejection, setbacks, self-doubt, and anything in between - your belief in yourself must stay stronger than the disbelief of others. Use your frustration, anger, sadness and any negativity and turn it into something beautiful. Use it all as fuel to the fire, but never let that fire consume you. As a woman in music, I have faced criticism of my image, voice and genre for years. I have had people tell me things to my face that could’ve easily dissuaded me from persisting - my second gig ever at 16 years old I had a person stand directly in front of me at the mic and plug her ears to share her disapproval. I’ve been kicked off of shows because a “better act” came along, I’ve been rejected from labels, venues, and festivals. But not once have I let it keep me from pursuing my passion, and you shouldn’t either.

Amit Ahuja: Who are three people who have profoundly shaped your life—whether artistically, personally, or professionally? What lessons did they teach you, and how do those influences continue to guide your choices and perspective today?

Lila Graves: I would say that the most profound people in my life would come from my personal circle. The first would be my mom; she was the first person to believe in me and provided me with the means to pursue live music when I was a teenager.

Second would be my husband. He has been in my life since the early years of my music, and this band truly would not exist if it weren’t for him encouraging me to try again.

And lastly would be my aforementioned friend that passed away. While she wasn’t in my life for as long as my mom or husband, her passing made me realize just how short and fragile life is - that there is no time like the present to pursue your dreams because we are never guaranteed tomorrow.

Amit Ahuja: Outside of music, what other forms of art or storytelling inspire you creatively? Are there particular films, books, visual artists, series, or podcasts that resonate with you on a deeper level? What is it about those mediums—the emotional depth, the storytelling, the atmosphere, or the craftsmanship—that fuels your creativity?

Lila Graves: I really enjoy reading, specifically mysteries and thrillers. Authors like Freida McFadden, Alex Michaelides & Riley Green are some of my favorites. I admire their ability to craft a story that not only hooks you from the start, but manages to engage you so deeply that you feel almost invested in the characters. But the best part - the plot twists. I never cease to be amazed at how authors can craft such an incredible storyline that the twist can genuinely take your breath away.

Amit Ahuja: If you had to describe your artistic spirit as an animal or creature, what would it be and why?

Lila Graves: This is such a unique question, and really took me a minute to think through - I love it! I would say my artistic spirit is a phoenix. Always rising back up from the ashes regardless of how many times I have fallen down.

Amit Ahuja: Many metal vocalists explore themes like struggle, resilience, anger, and empowerment. What emotional spaces do you find yourself returning to most often when writing or performing, and why do those themes resonate so strongly with you?

Lila Graves: I love this question for so many reasons. All 4 of those themes fit a lot of the base emotions for the songs that I write. The themes I return to most frequently are anger, grief & resilience. Since I use music as an outlet for my emotions & mental health, songwriting has served as a great coping mechanism for dealing with grief. I also return to anger a lot, and I feel that it allows me to use that energy for something better rather than sitting in a negative space.

Amit Ahuja: What is a fear or insecurity you’ve had to confront as an artist that most fans would never guess about?

Lila Graves: The biggest insecurity I’ve had to confront is my voice. I’ve heard many compliments, but I’ve also heard many negative things about my voice over the years. It’s been a transition for me going from both a vocalist & instrumentalist, to only prioritizing my voice, so I think with the spotlight on that piece only it becomes easier to feel more insecure.

Amit Ahuja: Many artists speak openly about the connection between creativity and mental health. How have each of you navigated that balance throughout your journey as musicians? What tools, support systems, or personal practices have helped you maintain your well-being while pursuing your passion, and what advice would you offer younger artists who are learning how to protect their mental health while chasing their dreams?

Lila Graves: I think I speak for all of us when I say that having each other has helped tremendously. We all have supported each other during some difficult times and consistently acknowledge that we are united both through and because of the music. My advice to young or new artists - surround yourself with safe people. Make sure that those you allow in your circle have the best intentions for you, and always be willing to help a fellow bandmate in need. The music life is hard, draining, competitive, and it’s easy to get discouraged. But if you surround yourself with people who will continue to lift you up, and you also do the same for others, then there is no such thing as failure - only lessons learned and growth.

Amit Ahuja: As we begin to wrap up, what reflections would you like to leave with your fans, my readers, and anyone out there who is currently chasing a dream of their own? Is there a message, truth, or piece of wisdom that feels especially meaningful to share at this point in your journey?

Lila Graves: Never stop trying. Even when you fail, try again. Even if you fail a hundred times, keep pushing because you will grow each time. The only way out is through, so even when times get hard keep going. If you have a dream, it doesn’t matter what others think because it is not their journey to take. You are capable of great things if you remain persistent and consistent.

Another message I would love to share - MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS! Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help, and don’t let social stigmas stop you from pursuing YOU. You are important, you are valid, and you are deserving of all of the good things that come your way.

Amit Ahuja: Thank you very much to Lila Graves for sharing your story with my readers today.

Photo Credit: BruisedGrapesPhotography

We invite you to explore Lila Graves' band and all related content through her Linktree below:

https://linktr.ee/lilagravesofficial?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnhDNIHPtGDAcxOfvfzpxfLnumdHFjQsy5StxTWpYdw3pEa0hO4ijOEa73CL4_aem_rbRQO5mw_5ihXu9wjPOeQw

***Photo credits for the images used in this interview go to BruisedGrapesPhotography, Paul Jones Photography, Itsnthestarsphotography, and Trashy Betty Photography, unless otherwise noted.***